


Love Me or Hate Me

by Aurorajns



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Feelings, Hidden Feelings, Lack of Communication, Romance, Trapped In Elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25516387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurorajns/pseuds/Aurorajns
Summary: Jon and Sansa have known each other since they were children. They have also been in love with each other since they were children. Now they are forced to talk about feelings that they have kept secret for too long.Or Jon and Sansa get trapped in an elevator together.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 84





	Love Me or Hate Me

It has been a really long day and Sansa just wants to go home and drown in her bathtub.

Or maybe stuff her face with lemon cakes because those are the only things that can probably save her now.

She is currently running in her high heels towards the elevator that will move her closer to her apartment in order to relax from the shitty day she had. She refuses to take the stairs after all the exhaustion she experienced today.

"Please hold the door!" She cried out in desperation and prayed that one of her kinder neighbours was in there.

"In your dreams Stark." A gruff voice replied.

_Of course it had to be Jon Snow._

It had to be the guy that she was desperately in love with for years.

Jon was always there. She had met him when she was five, when Robb brought him and introduced him as his best friend and he has not left her life since.

_(And she wished he would forever be in her life, even as a friend because she could not afford to lose the guy that helped her get through the toughest times in her life.)_

Jon is the best man she knows and she has been in love with him half her life.

The only problem is that she does not have the courage to confess her unlimited adoration for him.

_And he probably views her as his best friend's little sister._

She still remembers the day she embarrassed herself immensely. She was eleven at the time and Jon was thirteen and she wanted to give him a blue rose that she had found in her back yard, as a gift. She was a silly little girl with a huge crush on her brother's best friend and too naive and hopeful for her own good. So with flaming cheeks and a shy smile she approached him when he was alone in the kitchen and looking every bit like the man of her dreams while he was drinking water on that hot summer day. So she gave him the rose, ducked her head and whispered, "I hope you like it Jon."

Jon had not said a word and she left for her bedroom.

She cried every night for a week in her bed thinking that she ruined whatever little friendship was between them, soaking her pretty pink pillowcases with salty tears.

So Sansa stopped trying a long time ago and decided to never bring it up again. She settled for his friendship and he has been the best thing that had ever happened to her.

But it is not enough.

Now Jon Snow is her neighbour and she is forced to see the man that she will never have every day. It is exhausting really, especially when she does not know whether to strangle him or jump him.

Because no matter how hard she tries that silly little girl still has hope that one day he will see her differently.

"Thank you." Sansa says when she manages to get in the elevator. He smiles and his whole face lights up, and she presses the button that will take her to her floor and ducks her head. She sits quietly, rubbing her thumbs together while trying to ignore the curly haired man beside her.

He did not seem to have the same idea in mind because after a second he blurted out, "So how was work?"

"Bad." Sansa answered simply with a sigh.

"Sorry to hear." He whispered and rubbed the back of his neck.

"All I want to do is dive face first into my bed." Sansa grumbled and Jon chuckled. "I don't blame you." He exclaimed.

"You could come by if you are not too tired." He continued and she could only look forward, counting down the seconds until she can get off this stupid elevator and away from Jon before she said something she would regret.

She heard him inhale sharply and he was ready to continue his proposition, no doubt thinking that she would cave in like she always does, because she can't say no to spending an evening with him.

_Even as friends._

She shuts her eyes, ready to be once again persuaded by the man but the words never come out and the elevator feels surprisingly still all of a sudden and-

_Wait a minute..._

Sansa opened her eyes and realized that the elevator decided to stop now, of all days, of all times, the damn thing stopped working and she is in here.

_With fucking Jon Snow for company._

"No! No, no, no, no! This can't be happening right now!" She shuddered, panic overtaking her body.

"Hey, hey! Calm down, I pressed the emergency button. We'll be out in ten minutes or less." Jon said as he gripped her hand and started tracing patterns with his thumb.

Sansa tried to take deep breaths to calm herself and she tried to count to 10 in her head, but nothing seemed to be working. She screamed and hugged herself, panting and crying out, "I think I'm gonna faint."

She feels a hand on her shoulder and she thinks she can hear Jon's voice in the distance, telling her to calm down.

"Hey, look at me, look at me! Breathe with me." His hands were now cradling her face, his hold gentle and his eyes staring into hers.

"Inhale, hold it and exhale." His voice was soothing and his thumbs were tenderly tracing her cheeks.

It is moments like these that she thinks she will never get over him.

And after she stops hyperventilating, his arms wrapped around her and she nuzzled into his neck and he let her.

"It's alright, you'll be alright, we will get out of here soon." He whispered in her ear, his arm rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, her voice coming out muffled since she has not pulled away from him yet.

"Do not apologize. You don't have to apologize to me, never to me." He croaked and her breath hitched.

His arms stilled around her and just like that the spell was broken. He pushed her away and shook his head like he was trying to push something out of his head as well. 

Jon awkwardly stepped back and went to sit down in the corner of the elevator. Sansa, still a bit shaken up, slid down to her corner.

And just like that, sitting across from each other Sansa knew that when she left this elevator her heart would probably be broken beyond repair.

"We can't just sit in silence you know." Jon remarked and his usual frown was back in his face.

"Of course we can." She pointed out without looking away from him.

A moment passed.

Then another.

Sansa sighed and leaned her head toward the wall. She closed her eyes and wished that this torture would end soon.

"Do you remember that time that you got locked up in the basement of your house?" Jon broke the silence and she turned her eyes to him, finding him with his arms and legs crossed.

"Of course I remember. I was crying non stop and when the door unlocked you and Robb scared me to death by putting flour on you faces." Sansa reminisced with a longing smile.

They would always play together as kids and those were the happiest moments of her childhood.

"I felt so bad afterwards." Jon chuckled and crossed his arms. He suddenly seemed nervous, he avoids her eyes and lowers his head.

"Do you remember any other times from our childhood?" She asked in a small voice, pursing her lips and waiting for his answer. 

She'd never imagined that the day would come when she could confront Jon Snow, but here they are, trapped and with nothing else to do or say.

"What other times?" He wondered, his head still hanging low because he did not dare to look at her, he did not dare to see the hurt in her eyes.

"You know what other times." Sansa sniffled, suddenly on the verge of crying.

"Sansa..." He said her name with a wince, the reminder of their childhood and all the years spent avoiding talking about her silly little crush, that is not so silly anymore.

"Why have we never talked about it?" Sansa finally asked the question that has been torturing her mind and soul for years, the question that made her cry some nights and the question she would never be brave enough to voice under any other circumstances.

But now Jon looked so sad and so vulnerable that Sansa wonders if they wasted time by not communicating. She has spent so many years trying to control her feelings around him and trying to get over him.

But then she looked at him and felt like she could drown in his eyes and she realized that she will never learn.

"I remember every minute that I spend with you." He whispered and suddenly Sansa is the one who can't look at him anymore because she felt like his gaze could burn her _._

"Who would ever forget anything you do, Sansa?" Jon choked out and the soft tone of his voice caused the fall of her first tear.

"The day you gave me that rose, do you remember that day? You looked so beautiful, all shy smiles and red cheeks and I could not believe that you would do something like that for me." He laughed but it sounded strained like he was on the verge of tears as well. "Do you remember Sansa?" 

"Please stop." Sansa whimpered and she regretted opening her mouth and she regretted taking the stupid elevator.

"Do you remember that rose? Do you remember that day?" He insisted, demanding an answer that he already knew.

_As if she could ever forget that cursed day._

"Stop Jon, let's just forget this." She shook her head and wrapped her hands around herself tightly, trying to shield her heart for one more time.

 _The last time, she vowed to herself_.

"I need to know Sansa." Jon pleaded and she still did not turn to look at him but she imagined the anguish on his face.

"Yes, I remember." 

"What else do you remember?" He almost sobbed and Sansa winced, suddenly feeling like a knife had been plunged in her heart, feeling a burning pain in her chest at the sound of his strained voice.

"I remember you ignoring that I ever gave it to you, I remember how carelessly you handled it." She told him.

He took a deep breath and Sansa's own chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as she continued, "I remember how I gave the rose to you, you had it in the palm of your hand, it was yours, always yours to do with it whatever you wanted because I trusted you. It was yours and you threw it away. It was yours and you never cared."

"I have always cared!" He glowered and she finally faced him. "You have no idea how much I care, you have no idea how I curse myself everyday!" He cried out and she gasped, sitting up right and waiting in despair to find out more.

"You have no idea how much I-" He cut himself off, grimancing as he figured out that whatever he might have just voiced was not a good idea.

"What?" Sansa demanded impatiently.

"Forget it." Jon scoffed and ducked his head, avoiding her gaze again.

"Of course. I don't know why I bother with you anymore." She huffed and crossed her arms. But jon noticed, shook his head and moved towards her.

There was a new kind of determination in him as he cupped her head and forced her gaze to meet his. "Don't ever doubt how much I care for you. No matter what-"

"Then why did you never say anything?" Sansa snarled and tried to pry his arms away but he did not give up.

"You have to know." He said in disbelief but it seemed as if he was not talking to her but to himself.

"Know what?" She questioned with a newfound strength in her voice and a burning gaze, preparing herself for the inevitable pain.

"You have to know that I love you." Jon let out, his eyebrows furrowed and a familiar frown on his lips and Sansa gasped, her heartbeat accelerating, she could almost hear it if she focused enough.

But she could not focus on anything now because her world was spinning on its axis, everything that she ever thought she knew was a lie.

"Robb asked me if I liked you when we were children. But I did not answer because he is my best friend and I did not want to lose him. And then you gave me that rose and I could finally die a happy man, but Robb came in the kitchen right after you left and I panicked so I did not follow you to talk and if I could take back everything I would! I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I don't care how young we were. I kept the flower and I never said anything because I thought you got over me. And now we are neighbours and I did not want to ruin anything between us and I am so stupid Sansa!" He rambled and tears were now streaming down his face too.

Sansa could not breathe. All this time he loved her and she did not have a clue.

They were both sobbing when Jon cried out, "I know you hate me and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please talk to me."

Their foreheads were pressed together and their hearts beat in the same wild rhythm. 

So many years went by. They wasted so many years because they were kids and they did not know any better. It seems like they still don't. 

"Forgive me Sansa, please." Jon begged and their faces were so close together, only a breath seperated them.

"Forgive me Jon." 

"There is nothing to forgive." His voice was coarse and his lips were almost touching hers.

They leaned in at the same time.

A feather touch of his lips upon hers.

A gentle kiss in which they poured their furstrations and their love.

His lips were soft upon hers and he invaded all of her senses, a shudder going through them both.

Sansa kissed Jon and the doors finally opened.


End file.
